In a world that often feels like a whirlwind of chaos and uncertainty, finding even a glimmer of happiness can seem like an impossible feat. As someone who has battled with mental health struggles for half of my life, I know all too well the overwhelming sense of despair and hopelessness that can accompany each day. There have been seasons over the last 15 years that have been calmer than others, I have however found myself in the roughest of waters over the last 2 and a half years.
Although My story and situation is far from unique. With millions of people who grapple with their own mental health challenges, fighting battles that often go unseen by the world around them. I have felt trapped by mine and have found that I need a way to let it go. I often find myself ruminating on those negative feelings and ignoring all else. But like it or not amidst the darkness there are rays of light and I want to give myself time and space to explore those feelings over the darkness. That’s what I want to use this series and platform to do for myself.
As a teenager and young adult I battled alone but now as I approach 30 and have the means and courage I have sought treatment through the NHS as well as privately. I have grown more than I could ever have imagined and gained a deeper understanding of myself and my struggles with anxiety and depression. Although I often find it hard to admit I have realised that happiness, though elusive, is not entirely out of my reach.
Although it can be all consuming I have slowly come to the accept and that although my battle with my mental health is a part of me it does not define me. I have had to give myself time, space and kindness to be able to grow and recognise my inner strength. Although I have a long way still to go I am trying to release the burden of shame and self-judgment that had weighed me down for so long.
This personal journey has been ongoing for the last year or so I want to document for myself and for anyone else in my position that happiness is something we all deserve. I am going to use this space to explore different coping mechanisms and self-care practices, discovering what might bring me moments of peace and joy. Whether it is journaling, meditation, or simply taking a walk in nature, I am going to make a conscious effort to prioritise my mental well-being.
Of course, my journey towards happiness has not been linear. There have been setbacks and moments of despair along the way and there are sure to be many more to come. But through it all, no matter how slight it has been I have wanted to get better, to get stronger, to stay alive. To anyone who may be struggling on their own journey towards happiness, I offer this piece of advice: be gentle with yourself. Know that it’s okay to not be okay and that healing takes time. And remember, no matter how dark the night may seem, joy awaits on the other side of dawn, that is something I certainly cling to.
A Little Fall Of Thoughts 